11 Months!

Someone please stop all of this growing up!  

"And this is how life changes in a moment..." Nick- As we walked out of Windermere-leaving AB in her classroom

Pre-Dawn Thoughts On Annabelle's Big Day

I am not crazy, but I am up at 5:30am because of the most adorable little alarm clock anyone has ever seen.  Aiden has been giving me these morning gifts three to four times a week.  I am not saying this with any sarcasm, I really do feel like they are a gift of precious moments.  Do I groan and sometimes grumble as I come out of a deep sleep in the pre-dawn hours to go downstairs to warm a bottle?  Of course, but by the time I get that little guy in my arms I'm over it.

Aiden,
While you drink your bottle in your dark quiet room, Mommy likes to listen to you breath.  I shut my eyes and hold you tight and I just listen.  When you finish your milk on these sweet mornings you begin talking to me.   I believe your telling me your grand plans for the day.  Your voice has a sing-song tone and rhythm to it, and it is a very calm, sweet, sound.  I snuggle you closer and sometimes answer your thoughts.  You lay in my arms like a sack of potatoes, which for right now, is a gift all on it's own.  You look up at me and stare...  Right into my eyes.  I can see you blinking, slowly and you can probably see me doing the same.  I feel likes we stare at one another for ages, but it's probably no more than a few stolen minutes of time.  You sometimes reach up and touch my nose, cheek or eye.  All the while I a swinging you back and forth in your nursery chair.  Watching and waiting for your long blink to turn into sleep.  When it does, I continue to stare at your innocent face and think of all of the things you'll grow and do...  Today, I felt weepy as those thoughts were running through my brain, because growing is real and unstoppable.  No matter what you do or how fast you grow, I know, these are the moments I will remember forever.  This is why parents say, "When I look at you, I still see my tiny little baby."  These moments are engraved into your heart and mind and last a life time.  Thank you, sweet, little, baby boy, for this morning's wake up call.  There is simply no better way to wake.

As I was staring at Aiden and thinking about how fast he's growing I couldn't stop a few tears from running down my cheek.  I now have a perspective of just how fast this time does go by.  Annabelle is off to Kindergarten today.  Her first real day of school is upon us.  How did this happen? I feel like it was yesterday, that I was typing a very similar letter to her about holding and snuggling her tiny little baby body...  And now she barely fits on my lap.  Amazing how some days, as a parent, seem to take a life time to complete, yet you snap your fingers and they are five years old and headed into a HUGE school all by themselves.

Annabelle,
It's your first day of Kindergarten!  Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you.  We can't tell you this, but we are feeling bitter-sweet emotions about this day.  You may not notice the tears in Mommy and Daddy's eyes as we watch you becoming such a big girl...  We are trying our best to hide them from you.  We will smile bigger to disguise them better.  You, on the other hand, seem un-effected by this milestone in your life.  You are ready!  You are confident!  You are very excited!  "I LOVE my school.  Well, I know I haven't really gone there yet, but I went a few times and I know how to get to the playground and where the door is.  AND I know my teacher is very nice to me.  AND I know Mia who is in my class.  AND I even know where the potty is because I had to go potty that day I went to read books with Mrs. Walffer (Mrs. Walther)."  How funny, that you are in no way showing a single nerve about this day, yet, Mommy and Daddy are full of them!  This is one of the million things we love about you, AB.  Your confidence and strong will make us giggle at times but it is something you've had from the moment you were born...  It is a part of you.  If you ever start to doubt it or even feel like you've lost it, come talk to Mommy and Daddy.  You may think, at times, it's lost but the truth is, it can never be lost, because it is something God gave you the second he created you and placed you in my belly.  We will always help you find it if you ever feel it's lost.  Know that you can always come to us and ask for our help...  There is nothing you could ever tell us that would make us love you less...  We are your biggest fans and love you so hard it hurts.

Today, we will hold your hand...  Take lots of pictures and even more deep, deeeeeep breaths as you start your journey in elementary school.  We are proud of you and love the person God made you to be, and the person you are making of yourself.  Sweet memories and LOTS of fun, this year, AB!

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!

My finial thought, before I go start making pancakes and bacon is HELP!!!!!!

Deep Breath...

This kindergarten stuff is tricky.  There are so many times throughout a day's time when I discuss it with anyone who asks with no problem at all.  Then, I type, 'First Day of School' into my iphone calendar and I start bawling my eyes out.  Annabelle is READY for kindergarten.  She is excited.  Don't get me wrong, I'm excited too, but I guess I just think it's not time yet.  I can't wrap my brain around the fact that she's big enough.  So whether I'm ready or not; in exactly one week, Nick and I will be posing Annabelle outside our front door for her first day of school picture, loading her into the car and taking her to her very first day of kindergarten.  The first day leading to so many more firsts...  My job-  Smile, build her excitement, give hugs and kisses, reassure her that she's ready and that it's going to be great AND not cry!!!!  Until I get out of the building that is...  

Annabelle: “I am going to have a farm.  A horse only farm.  Everyday I am going to ride my favorite horse Windy to my art studio (which is right next to my farm) and I’m going to teach people how to do all kinds of art projects.”  
Mommy: “A horse only farm and an art studio!  You are going to be very busy!  May I come and learn art from you too?
Annabelle: ”Yes, of course!  I am going to teach art to children and grandma and grandpa old people like you will be.  You can come for free, Mommy.”

Her First Attempt at a Sleepover

Ok.... I am waiting for the call to come and get Annabelle from our neighbor's house...  She has been asking all summer to do a sleepover with Ava and Kayleigh, and though she's younger than the other two I feel like it was the summer to try it, but didn't know when it would work out for all three- Well, tonight is the night.   She took a shower (yep, she's doing that all by herself now too), got in her 3rd favorite set of PJs, packed her toothbrush and horsy and stood by the front window just looking out...I heard her say very quietly under her  breath, "I can do this."  Melted my heart on the spot!  I walked up and asked her what she was thinking about.  Her response was: "I guess I am feeling scared inside about staying somewhere else.  Is this my first sleepover, ever?"  I told her that she's spent the night at Nana and Paps without mommy and daddy and at Mimzey and Dano's and with Silly Grandpa and Yaya at the cottage.  She told me very seriously, "That is different, Mommy."  I knew it was when I said it but thought maybe it would make her feel better.  We walked over and met the other two very excited girls at the door.  I stayed there for a bit before leaving her for the night.  When I left she was sitting at Ava's art table drawing and looking tired, but not ready to admit it.  I kissed her on the cheek and asked her if she was ok?  She shook her head yes.  I asked if she was sure she wanted to stay?  She said "Yes." without hesitation.  I kissed her three more times on the temple and said, "Mommy and Daddy are only a call away.  We are right next door if you need us."  I told her I loved her and that was that...  It's 10:30...  Not sure how much sleep I am going to get tonight.